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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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As I’m cleaning up, I can’t help but smile. Berca is crazy, but it’s my crazy. I love this city, the people, the energy. Every day is a new adventure, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Fig. 3. Common vole devouring the wheat ears before the harvest period...